Lunk

 

“What’s Lunk?” you ask. Well I’ll try my best to explain. I was raised by my father John Smidgen, a fantastic man and a wonderful dad. I say ‘was’ as it was only last Christmas that he passed away.  Had you asked me last year what he actually did for a living, I would have told you that he worked for some kind of secret service. Whenever I quizzed him on the matter he’d simply tell me it was “top secret” and that I’d find out one day.

In our last few weeks together we’d sit up watching tv and talk into the night about allsorts of things, never once though did he mention his “top secret” job. I’d nag him about it endlessly but his lips were sealed. It was on christmas day morning when I noticed he wasn’t doing so great. I sat at the edge of his bed and held his hand. He leant over to me and whispered in my ear.

“Go and get that Box Monster, you don’t have to be scared anymore…”

Those were his last words.

When I was a kid he told me that a man eating box monster lived up in our loft, and if I were to ever go near it I’d be eaten alive. The thought of that happening terrified me so I always kept my distance.

That same evening I thought to myself, Heck I’m 30 now and I’m still scared of a stupid box? I got the ladder out and climbed up into the loft. To be totally honest, I was a little scared. As I shone my light across the room I caught sight of the beast, there it was, the box monster! I ended up laughing to myself, imagining dad coming up with this wacky story. I walked over to see if there was actually anything inside it…

 

I opened the box and looked down. Lo and behold, it was packed with stuff! . LPs, CDs, videos, comics, books, letters…all relating to something called ‘LUNK’. There was a letter on top with my name on it.

None of this made any sense. I spent the whole night laying in bed wondering what the hell it was all about, barely sleeping a wink. The following morning I jumped out of bed, got dressed and darted from the house out to the back garden. I opened the dustbin lid saw this strange ring of wiggling worm things. It stank. But without moment’s hesitation I jumped in. I just had to see for myself.

Without embarrassing myself too much here, I had soiled myself on the journey… I suddenly remembered a time back when I was a teenager in which I had discovered a massive stash of man-sized nappies under dad’s bed. Now it made sense. Just wish he’d told me about this side effect in the letter. Anyway, I did what dad had instructed in the letter and followed the signs towards Benthole woods.
Clumzo is weird. I brought back a brochure to give you a better idea of the place.

I arrived at Benthole woods. I screamed and a pigeon flew out from a tree and over my head. Then it suddenly stopped dead and landed at my feet with a ballpoint pen speared through it. Out from the bushes ran a bald man holding a bow he’d made out of a coat hanger and rubber band. He came running over to me looking me up and down, grabbing the pigeon and talking a bite out of it.

“Not bad. Got a crunchy one. Want some?”

I didn’t  but I did want to ask a few questions. He said his name was Freck and invited me to his house, a little wigwam type hut in the woods made from tree branches. We ended up talking for  hours, about my father. He spoke of him very fondly, saying that without him LUNK would never have happened. Dad had devoted a big chunk of his life to these guys and I was incredibly curious to find out more… He wanted me to meet Cooper (The other member of LUNK).

We went off to met Cooper, a big furry thing wearing a fez… now I’d seen everything.  It felt like I’d known these guys all my life, in a way I knew them through dad without even knowing it. All these little habits they shared, sayings, jokes and opinions, everything clicked. They asked if I’d thought about carrying on where dad had left off. My answer was YES. But on one condition… That I could also show LUNK to the world, MY world.

“I heard that you shit yer pants when you go through that tunnel. Nah… no thanks” said Freck.

So I suggested that a website/archive would be a great place to start. They eventually agreed for me to go ahead with it. The best part of this, I wouldn’t even need to start tracking things down. Their entire back history was already at home waiting for me, sat there in that silly box monster!
I returned home that night and started going through it all. After countless weeks of scanning and putting everything into order I’ve finally finished the website . So, stick the kettle on and enjoy the feast.

Cuddles and Warmth,

Pearl x

Below: An old article LUNK gave almost 30 years ago when they were starting off. Taken from a student’s fanzine ‘The Friendly Fist’.